URBAN LIFE STAFF PICKS

Best Source of Grass (Legal):
Anne and Cooper Burchenal will give your landscaping texture and drama with their crops at Ohio River Grass. And each August they host their Art in the Grass exhibition featuring outdoor public art from local artists such as Tony Becker, Yvonne van Eijden and Stuart Fink, the previous owner of Ohio River Grass. 220 Wenner St., East End, 513-871-1158.

Best Total Eclipse:
The hulking Gateway Project at Central Parkway and Vine Street is casting a big shadow in Over-the-Rhine. Perhaps once all those Kroger employees begin to park there, subsidized by Cincinnati tax dollars, it’ll begin to glow with a radiance of its own.

photo: matt borgerding Best rock & Roll Chiropractor: Dr. Cyril Benjamin Rohs Street Cafe Photo: Mandy Janes

Best rock & Roll Chiropractor:
Dr. Cyril Benjamin
What? In the immortal words of Jack Black in High Fidelity, that sounds pretty “wussssy.” Unless you’re the “arthritic monkey” that is Keith Richards, back problems should occur only after a night of whiskey-induced mayhem and debauchery. Yet “Rock & Roll Chiropractor” is undeniably the appropriate moniker for Dr. Cyril Benjamin, who’s also in the band Twentyfour-7. (Check out their endearingly lo-fi Web site at twentyfour7band.com). “Music is my love,” Benjamin says, and that love spreads to his Covington-based practice, Chiropractic Healthcare of Northern Kentucky. Many of his clients are musicians, something that’s not surprising given his specialization in sports-related, motion-based injuries. 2002 Madison Road, Covington. 859-491-8300. (Jason Gargano)

Best Sign That Downtown Is a Hot Address:
There are a number of real estate firms pushing downtown and Over-the-Rhine housing now, including a Huff Realty office that recently opened on Sixth Street and is helmed by ubiquitous Realtor Christine Schoonover (tell us you’ve never seen her name on a building downtown and we’ll know you’ve kept your eyes closed for too long). Schoonover and her agents are catering to the folks lining up to enjoy the benefits of downtown living.
212 E. Sixth St., Downtown, 513-619-7500.

Best Use of Former Crazy Ladies Bookstore:
As someone wise says on greeting cards and magnets, “Whenever a door closes, a window opens.” So it was when Crazy Ladies Bookstore in Northside needed a more solvent tenant while Women Writing for (a) Change sought to expand. But WWf(a)C founder Mary Pierce Brosmer is determined to keep alive the history of the building by maintaining its lesbian archives and offering space for a Coming Out support group and the upcoming Gay Pride Parade. The WWf(a)C Foundation has already moved its offices in, and the two night classes are sold out.
4039 Hamilton Ave., Northside, 513-272-1171.

Best effort to join forces:
Lafricano fests
It’s an old story with sometimes tragic results: One disenfranchised community feels that the little bit it has is suddenly threatened by the arrival of people from another disenfranchised community, and the two end up fighting one another. Hoping to get African Americans and Latino immigrants to work together, Cincinnati Progressive Action joined forces with Black United Front, Su Casa Hispanic Ministry, the Coalition for Immigrant Rights and other organizations last June for Lafricano Fest — a day of music, cultural activities and celebration in Eden Park. The festival drew hundreds of people together for a good time, potentially building a foundation for joint political action in the future. Although Lafricano had the kind of minor flaws that mark most first-time efforts, the event proved to be successful in its larger goal: getting the two groups together. (Gregory Flannery)

Best Old Cincinnati Flashback:
Located on the 12th floor of downtown’s Mercantile Building, the Mercantile Library’s ornate reading room conjures images of gentleman’s clubs and elite private schools. Its book selection promotes the idea of academics as the favored lunchtime activity. You can also smoke while you read, which was the epitome of privilege in 1953.
414 Walnut St., Downtown, 513-621-0717.

Best Green Space:
The most poetic and inspired answer to the Northern Kentucky riverfront restaurants and stores is Cincinnati’s Theodore M. Berry International Friendship Park, a stunning strip of manicured walkways, landscape sculptures and grassy mounds. Depressed by the hulking stadiums on the city’s central riverfront? A walk in Friendship Park will renew your faith that Cincinnati might make it into the 21st century after all.

Best Need of Green Space:
A new tire retailer is the latest addition to the sprawling downtown parking lot known as Broadway Commons, the spot preferred by many people years ago for the new Reds stadium. Local powerbrokers kept the stadium on the riverfront and offered empty promises for the lot’s reuse as a new neighborhood. With two neighborhoods — Downtown and Over-the-Rhine — in need of additional green space, the best use of Broadway Commons is a no-brainer: public park.

Best Reason to Kill Every Tree in Sight:
Some people didn’t mind the Brood Xers, while others saved up vacation time for months to avoid the little red-eyed fuckers. Some produced musicals about the infestation or ate the critters for lunch, while a few of us found ourselves fondly dreaming of the smell of napalm in the morning with a mind to destroy the cicada plague once and for all. It didn’t work, so set your clocks: You have 16 more years to plan how to avoid the next round.

Best Hill Development:
College Hill’s corner plans
When three of the four corners of College Hill’s busiest intersection went dark two years ago, the College Hill Community Urban Redevelopment Corporation used the opportunity to anchor the neighborhood instead of allowing the urban decay that often follows vacancies of big-box retail. College Hill activists successfully landed city funding and big-name local developer Al Neyer, Inc., which presented plans for “Linden Park Commons” Feb. 8. The three empty corners of Hamilton Avenue and North Bend Road where Shuller’s Wigwam restaurant, CVS Pharmacy and Kroger grocery store used to be could soon offer mixed-use housing, retail and entertainment complexes. It’s a success befitting the oldest community redevelopment organization in the state; CHCURC celebrated its 30th anniversary at the same dinner on Feb. 8. (Stephanie Dunlap)

Best Post-Election Collaboration:
After about six weeks of bad feelings and deep divisions, the city’s ice figuratively melted right before Christmas with the big snowstorm. Neighbors teamed up with each other to dig out from underneath the foot of heavy, wet snow so people could do last-minute shopping or get on the road for holiday travel. Despite assurances from city officials that snow plows were working like mad, we’ve still yet to hear of a single neighborhood where they accomplished anything. Citizens took the work into their own hands, and the season felt a little more special for the togetherness.

Best Computer Crash:
HAL would be proud. When Comair’s 15-year-old flight crew scheduling computer system — and its backup — crashed at 10 p.m. this past Christmas Eve just a day after the huge snowstorm, 100,000 holiday passengers got stranded for four days. Who knew that spending the Christmas camped in the terminals with thousands of strangers could be considered “Happy Holidays?” Needless to say, Comair quickly got itself a new chief.

Best Farewell to a Landmark:
CityBeat’s annual Cincinnati Entertainment Awards rocked Old St. George last November for the fourth and final time, as host Regina Carswell announced that separate music and theater shows would be held in 2005 in different venues. As usual, the beautiful old church was packed and a good time was had by all. The nonprofit that owns Old St. George — and has struggled to pay its mortgage — recently announced they’d sold the building to the Clifton Heights development group that’s tearing up Calhoun and McMillan for new UC-sponsored retail and housing. The new owners won’t commit to keep Old St. George open and/or standing after the end of this year, so beyond weddings and occasional events the 2004 CEAs likely was the 130-year-old landmark’s swan song for most of us.

Best Parade:
Is there any debate? The St. Patrick’s Day parade is nice and all, but there is no better civic gathering in the city each year than the Findlay Market Opening Day parade, this year held on April 4. Kids in red-painted faces, business-people playing hooky and enough politicians to shake a stick at, the annual love-in reminds us (because we too often forget) that Cincinnati is still a great baseball town.

Best Place to Meet a Bitch:
Mt. Airy Dog Park is leash-free and proud to be, a godsend to any dog owner who wants to let Trixie roam wild. But there are rules, so read the signs. Westwood Northern Boulevard, entrance between Montana and North Bend roads, Mount Airy, 513-352-4080.

Best Place to Take Your Mother on Mother’s Day:
The Appalachian Community Development Association’s Appalachian Festival. A little mountain music, food and fun are all Mom and you need for some QT at Coney Island. She’ll love the artisans’ original jewelry, fiber, wood and metalworks, and you’ll love the culture if you don’t already. This year’s festival is scheduled for May 6-8 (Mother’s Day weekend). Coney Island, 6201 Kellogg Ave., Anderson Twp. (appalachianfestival.org)

Best Nostalgia on a Budget:
Though it’s not the most appetizing name for a food festival, the free Taste of Blue Ash neighborhood celebration has managed a comparatively impressive (and definitely expensive) musical lineup over the past several years, welcoming the likes of Chuck Berry, The Go Go’s, Al Green, REO Speedwagon and Jerry Lee Lewis. The event is scheduled for Aug. 26-28 this year; past-their-prime musical entertainers to be announced. (blueash.com)

Best Place for Youths to Catch a Beat:
Hip Hop as saving grace lived in theory and in the cerebral studios of cornered youths until Elementz Youth Arts Center (nee the Hip Hop Youth Arts Center) finally opened its doors Feb. 24 with an on-site engineer to record the beats, rhymes and strife of its targeted 14- to 24-year-olds. With the embarrassment of rich talent in the city’s above and underground Hip Hop community, Elementz shouldn’t ever want for volunteers to lead, mentor and program events at the center.
1599 Central Pkwy., Over-the-Rhine, 513-721-5800.

Best Use of Technology to Help Low-Income Families:
Victory Neighborhood Services Agency launched a wi-fi project in Walnut Hills, with a training program targeting unemployed single mothers. The goal is to put the economic potential of the Internet together with a ready labor pool to benefit everyone involved. (neighborhoodworks.net)

Best Opportunity for Interracial Dialogue:
The Underground Railroad Freedom Center is no mere museum of slavery but rather an intellectually and emotionally challenging mix of historical and contemporary struggles for justice. First Lady Laura Bush’s visit caused more than a little clucking, but she is, after all, emblematic of the very population that needs to see and hear what the Freedom Center has to offer.
50 E. Freedom Way, Downtown, 513-333-7500.

Best Hope for Cincinnati Public Schools:
Using funds approved by voters for a comprehensive overhaul of its facilities, the school district is combining schools with social service organizations to create facilities that will remain open six or seven days a week, up to 17 hours a day, depending on the needs and desires of the community. Recreation, adult learning and even public health are all components of the new schools being built. (cps-k12.org)

Best Way to Keep the Cops Away:
Frustrated by what it calls inadequate police help in battling violent crime in Over-the-Rhine, the Contact Center organized the “Park for Justice” demonstration in September. Participants deliberately let their parking meters expire, and organizers called Cincinnati Police to “complain,” hoping to get officers to the scene for a discussion. The cops didn’t take the bait, but the protest aptly illustrated the activists’ complaint: It’s hard to get police help in Over-the-Rhine when it’s wanted.

Best Street Team:
In September, StreetScapes returned to Clifton’s Telford Avenue for a second year of amazing chalk reproductions of classic paintings. Half the fun of this event is watching the slow process of outlining the paintings on the blacktop and then having teams of artists and art students bring the work to life with vivid chalk coloring. This year’s event brought featured artist Rod Tryon to town, and his three-dimensional style wowed everyone.

Best Pet Event:
Annual Wiener Dog Summer Nationals at River Downs, usually held in August. It’s a Dachsund derby, as 100 weiner dogs lap it up to benefit the local chapter of the S.P.C.A. Best part? It’s only 10 seconds long. Kentucky, schmentucky. (riverdowns.com) ©