The Yawn Patrol tries to get an egg up on breakfast
By Donna Covrett (with Lora Arduser, Laura Chenault,
Gregory Flannery, Jason Gargano and Rick Pender)

The idea of stumbling out of bed clear-headed enough on a weekday morning to wield sharp objects and prepare a hearty breakfast is, quite frankly, foreign to our sensibilities.
From grab-n-go bagel sandwiches to bakery cafes, the breakfast industry is on the rise again,

with increased competition for this profitable piece of the dining market.

The full-service breakfast business is polarized. On weekdays, speed, convenience and price are the priorities, while weekends it’s a different experience with more leisurely time and larger parties.
Successful breakfast restaurants must rise to the challenge of accommodating these two different approaches with equal grace.

	photo: sean hughes/photopresse.com Fat ‘n happy at Sugar ‘N Spice

Whether weekday or weekend, when it comes to the morning meal, nearly all of us turn into purists.
Like the “happy hour” that marks the end of the workday, breakfast is a ritual hallowed by familiarity.

We’re not only comforted by the routine of facing the same plate day after day, we are anchored by it.
We worry that the slightest deviation of eggs scrambled too hard, bacon with burnt edges or oatmeal too dry is an early warning of a day about to go horribly wrong.

That might seem extreme, but not unusual. Breakfast is an idiosyncratic meal.
Since our usual dining room in the morning has a steering wheel and gas pedal, we decided to expand our breakfast horizons by visiting five restaurants known for their breakfasts and see which one stacked up to our critical, discerning and neurotic eyes.

For the past nine years — every Best of Cincinnati® in existence — CityBeat readers have voted First Watch as their favorite breakfast restaurant, so we began developing criteria from there. In addition to the popular chain, we picked two “homestyle” restaurants as well as two with “chefs” instead of “breakfast cooks.”

	photo: sean hughes/photopresse.com Viva Las Vegas: glitzy French toast at The Coffee Cap

Five of us met on five different weekdays, ordered five familiar but different breakfast meals with plenty of coffee and hoped to be out the door in less than one hour. In addition to an overall rating, we gave each place marks in coffee, food, service and atmosphere based on a scale from 1 (Shoulda’ Stayed in Bed) to 7 (Eggcellent!).

Filled with great eggspectations, a desire to mooch five free meals from our boss and curious as to how many ways we could cleverly use breakfast terms in a sentence, we visited five restaurants in five different neighborhoods. Here are the results, listed in the order visited.

The Echo
Overall rating: 4.5
Food: 3.5; Service: 3; Atmosphere: 6
Time: 50 minutes
Average cost per person (includes tip): $8

Meals ordered: Hyde Parker Omelet (spinach, tomatoes and mozzarella); Protein Platter (scrambled eggs, goetta, potatoes and toast); Eggs Florentine (poached eggs, spinach and hollandaise sauce on English muffins); Buttermilk Blueberry Pancakes; French Toast
We were more in love with the atmosphere than the food and coffee in this Diner Hall of Famer. In fact, the service rating directly correlated to how fast we received our first cup of coffee and the subsequent refills (it took 10 minutes of us sitting before one of us went to alert the server we were suffering from severe caffeine deprivation and needed menus). Although disappointed by the quality of it (“Not much better than Greg’s highly mediocre office brew,” Jason stated), we were noentheless grateful for it at 7:30 a.m.
The omelet was the strongest contender here, but even it was average at best and the potatoes (which became our holy grail for the entire week) were somewhat gummy. The absolute low point was the “hollandaise” sauce on the Eggs Florentine that had an odd flavor none of us could quite pinpoint (flour, metal and cardboard were some of our guesses).
OK, so the breakfast is average. We love The Echo anyway for its cozy, neighborhood feel, dogged everydayness and working-class vibe smack in the middle of well-heeled Hyde Park. We’d choose it over a chain any day for atmosphere alone. Jason added a perspective the rest of us missed: “The booth was comfortable and large, perfect for some early morning lovin’.”
Hmm, we always thought he was the “quiet one” at the office.

	photo: sean hughes/photopresse.com Laura Chenault (left) and Lora Arduser consider their options at Mokka. LC: “You eat it.” LA: “No, you eat it.”

First Watch
Overall: 4
Food: 3.5; Service: 5; Atmosphere: 4.5
Time: 45 minutes
Average cost per person: $10

Meals ordered: Sensational Skillet (potatoes, scrambled eggs, cheese and veggies); Breakfast Scramble (croissant, scrambled eggs, spinach, ham and melted cheese); Florentine (poached eggs, hollandaise, spinach, avocado, tomato); Sourdough French Toast; Two Eggs, Bacon and Sausage; Blueberry Pancakes
The good news: There was a certain sameness to all the dishes. The bad news: There was a certain sameness to all the dishes. Dear readers, we know you like this place and we really, really wanted to like it as much as you do — but all the dishes look eerily the same, built on the same components (lots of potatoes, eggs and cheese) with slight variations. Perhaps, if you’re not looking for variety or inventiveness, this is a good thing.
While the eggs were prepared well and the vegetables fresh, even loads of ketchup couldn’t salvage the potatoes from the recent memory of the processing plant. Oh, and the poor, anemic French toast! The thin underdone slices were banished to the end of the table with hardly a second glance.
Highlights: A carafe of coffee at the table. A little weak (“Like my grandma’s,” someone said), but hot and plenty of it. Service is First Watch’s strong suit. Quick, efficient, not too chatty (we don’t form whole sentences until 10 a.m.), and the food is delivered fast. While some of us liked the atmosphere (Rick thought it was “airy and relaxed, chairs are comfortable and I like the big, bright window”), others considered it too generic (“Like an upgraded Frisch’s”; “Felt like a chain and tasted like a chain”). Sigh.


Sugar ‘N Spice
Overall: 6.25
Food: 6; Service: 6.5; Atmosphere: 6
Time: 50 minutes
Average cost per person: $7

Meals ordered: Popeye Omelets (spinach and mozzarella); Corned Beef Hash (topped with poached eggs); Two Scrambled Eggs, Goetta, Toast and Hash Browns; Blueberry Pancakes; French Toast
Mmmmmmm! Finally, real hash browns: grated, slightly greasy and not over-crisped, “definite breakfast comfort food” as Lora declared. Scrambled eggs cooked perfectly, custardy (or “plush” as Jason described them) and moist. A fluffy, tasty omelet and hands down the best blueberry pancakes with a tang of buttermilk and real butter. Corned beef was a little too Spam-pink for a couple of us, but once the poached eggs were stirred in it was palatable gooey goodness.
Service is some of the best — efficient without being unobtrusive and never an empty coffee cup. The morning we were there, we had a 9-year-old boy keeping us in silverware and condiments along with 30-year veteran Jan. This is the sort of place where wordless communication seems the norm rather than the exception.
With the most diverse and unique clientele of the places we visited, Sugar ‘N Spice is the real deal: unpretentious, down home and solid. Perfect for a quick workday morning, lounging with the Sunday paper weekend or, as Jason put it, “for late-morning night afters.”
We should definitely be hanging out with him more often.


Mokka
Overall: 5.5
Food: 5; Service: 6; Atmosphere: 5.5
Time: 60 minutes
Average cost per person: $10
Meals ordered: California Frittata (mushrooms, bell pepper, onions, tomatoes); Stuffed French Toast (cheesecake between bread, blueberries); Smoked Salmon Avalanche (scrambled egg sandwich); Breakfast Quesadilla; Two Scrambled Eggs, Sausage and Toast; Side of Blueberry Pancakes
We love the food of this chef-driven breakfast gem, but for one thing: deep-fried potatoes, deep-fried French toast. deep-fried sausage links! There, we’ve had our say about that. Otherwise, the frittata was scrumptious and the quesadilla full of great textures and flavors, as was the Salmon Avalanche. Coffee was the best of the five (Seven Hills Brand). Sean Hughes, who was hanging around snapping photos, noted that the brand of catsup was inferior to accompany the fried potatoes — a precise and weird point, but we gave it to him when he qualified it with, “I’ll pretty much put anything in my mouth, but I’m particular about catsup.” Not a pretty thought.
Service was attentive, friendly and efficient. We love Mokka’s cozy, sunny, bohemian dining room, but we were confused by the cutesy, pastel Easter Parade display in the front window. And can we make another suggestion? Schlock Pop form the ’80s isn’t a soundtrack for a 9 a.m. breakfast. Never. Ever.


The Coffee Cap
Overall: 5.5
Food: 6.5; Service: 4; Atmosphere: 5
Time: 90 minutes
Average cost per person: $8

Meals ordered: Unforgettable French Toast; Santa Fe Crepes (sausage, egg, cream cheese rolled in a crepe); Omelet (red onion, asparagus and zucchini); Corned Beef Hash (with two eggs over-easy and toast); Scrambled Eggs, Goetta and Bacon
This restaurant takes breakfast seriously. Easily the best food we had, with everything fresh and distinct. The omelet actually elicited moans from several members of the breakfast club, and the goetta and corned beef hash were two steps above anywhere else. Fruit cups with apples, oranges, pineapple, kiwi and blackberries were so beautiful we were hesitant to disturb them. And if you think a waist is a terrible thing to mind, than the French toast is just for you. Rolled in frosted flakes, fried and served with vanilla anglaise, bananas and a three-cup mountain of whipped cream, we both laughed and gasped at the whole Las Vegas site of it — we just don’t need that much flair for breakfast.
The food is delicious and gorgeous, yes, but it was nearly 50 minutes between the times ordered and received — and we were the only table in the dining room for most of it. The menu appears to have short-order items that would fit a weekday time frame, but the slow kitchen and huge portioned plates we experienced are better suited to the weekend. We say don’t give in to the American “bigger is better” mindset — Coffee Cap’s food is good and worth every bit the menu price at a more reasonable portion.
Coffee service is get-your-own at the coffee bar. We were split down the middle here, as some like control of the cup and some prefer service. And what’s up with the sudden trend of ’80s music in the morning? Bette Midler? Afternoon, maybe. But REO Speedwagon for breakfast is just going to infuriate a hangover.


Have Your Own Breakfast of Champions:
Coffee Cap
3156 Harrison Ave., Westwood, 513-481-5333

The Echo
3510 Edwards Road, Hyde Park, 513-321-2816

First Watch
700 Walnut St., Downtown, 513-721-4744 (and other locations in Greater Cincinnati)

Mokka
527 York St., Newport, 859-581-3700
Sugar ‘N Spice, 4381 Reading Road, Bond Hill, 513-242-3521