Stack It
Tall Stacks can provide many a romantic moment

By Felix Winternitz

Think that injecting some romance into your life is a tall order? We’ve got a Tall answer.

Tall Stacks, the world’s largest convocation of paddle-wheelers, returns to the Cincinnati riverfront on Oct. 15-19. The five-day extravaganza — now formally titled the Tall Stacks Music, Arts & Heritage Festival — is a quadrennial occasion that’s become Greater Cincinnati’s signature event, a nautical wonder that provides all sorts of romantic possibilities for the imaginative couple.

Photo: © 1999, Erin Becker

Thing is, you have to plan ahead now.

“We’re a little more than 50 percent sold out, and we’re eight months away,” notes Karen Bender, marketing manager for the festival. “We will sell out. We’re much farther out in ticket sales than previous Tall Stacks.”

Why is this Tall Stacks more of a hot ticket than Stacks past? For one, it’s the city’s official Ohio Bicentennial event. For another, the organizers have recast the event as an arts and heritage event with a new emphasis on music. This installment marks the first time that major league Rock, Jazz and Bluegrass concerts, hot air balloon races and nightly fireworks will be included. Festival manager Mike Smith, who also runs the Pepsi Jammin’ on Main music festival, promises a roster of top-notch national performers will be announced in July.

Prices range $18-$75 for cruise passes and dinner excursions. Check in at 866-497-8255 or www.tallstacks.com to order tickets, or visit the Tall Stacks store at Tower Place Mall downtown. For Delta Queen and Mississippi Queen overnight accommodations, call 513-762-3390. (Passenger prices for the sister Queens range $1,205-$1,999.)

Tall Stacks organizers say they’ve even had fest-goers get married aboard riverboats in the past, some dressed in steamboat-era period costume, and they’ve already fielded at least one inquiry for a floating wedding this time ’round. Fifteen of the 17 riverboats can, in theory, be rented for a wedding and/or reception and dinner dance, depending on the times and days you’re thinking about. Prices are based on the face value of the tickets, plus a surcharge which is a tax-deductible donation to Tall Stacks. (If you’re thinking a reception with 100 people, for instance, and the cruise ticket for that particular boat costs $26, multiply $26 by 100. Cruise ticket prices can range anywhere from $18 to $75, depending on which boat you want to rent out.) Call 859-344-0392 to book a large party for a cruise.

A few caveats about riverboat marriages: If you think a riverboat captain can perform the ceremony, you’re wrong. The Ohio River operates under Kentucky law, which requires a minister licensed in Kentucky come aboard for the nuptials. (A boat captain can marry a couple only in international waters.) One other option is a justice of the peace such as Covington’s Stephen L.J. Hoffman, who specializes in marrying people in odd and interesting locations.

Here are our picks for most romantic riverboat trips during Tall Stacks:

Best Riverboat for a Date With Destiny:
Belle of Louisville, a circa 1914 three-deck steamboat. Tickets are still available for romantic dinner cruises during the week of Tall Stacks, including Sunday night (Saturday night is sold out). Belle of Louisville is one of the last original Mississippi River-style sternwheelers in existence and is now a National Historic Landmark. Hey, history can be sexy, too.

Best Riverboat for a Private Tryst:
Aboard the Delta Queen, a circa 1926 riverboat, where you’ll avoid the Tall Stacks throngs (the crowds and general riff-raff aren’t allowed on the boat for tours or meals, unlike most of the other steamboats; you have to be a paying overnight passenger to be allowed aboard). Some E Deck tickets remain for the three-night overnight cruise ($1,205 for an inside room, no window view). The coveted A Suites (with view and veranda, for $1,999) are sold out. The Delta Queen is the only authentic, fully restored overnight steamboat in the world and a designated National Historic Landmark. Passengers participate in the riverboat race, parade of Tall Stacks and other festival events, plus there’s a cruise downriver and back.

Best Riverboat for Music Lovers:
The General Jackson, a newcomer at the festival. The four-deck sternwheeler offers three-hour buffet meals accompanied by 40-minute Opryland-style shows featuring Tim Watson and his band Black Creek. Based at the Grand Old Opry in Nashville, the General Jackson is known as “the grandest showboat of them all” because of her large, ornate Victorian theater on the main deck. (Saturday shows from 3 p.m. onward are already sold out.)

Best Riverboat for a Romantic Dance:
The Spirit of Jefferson, offering a Big Band cruise 1:15-3:45 p.m. on Oct. 18. Cost is $26 per person, and there are some tickets remaining. The three-deck boat features enclosed climate controlled dining decks and one full open deck.

Best Retro Romantic Moment:
The “disco cruises” aboard the Majestic, a tug/barge that spans the length of a football field and is designed to give the appearance of a grand side-wheeler. Call for times and days of the cruises and ticket availability.

Best Riverboat for a Honeymoon Getaway:
Aboard the Mississippi Queen, offering overnight accommodations along with her sister, Delta Queen. Since the Delta Queen is sold out of every accommodation except the smaller inside rooms with no view, this is the honeymooners’ choice if said honeymooners can afford it. The luxury A Suites ($1,999) include a room with a view, double bed and even a veranda, so you’ll have a front seat to the fireworks, nightly concerts, riverboat races and parade of Tall Stacks without stepping foot out of your room. The giant boat boasts seven decks, golden-piped calliope and giant red paddlewheel.

Don’t like any of these options? You don’t have to cruise or get married aboard a boat; just take a leisurely romantic stroll on the Public Landing during Tall Stacks week.
A Tall Stacks general admission lapel pin provides festival admission for all five days with access to all of the on-shore activities, fireworks, balloon races and concerts. You can purchase the pin for $12 starting in July to access the activities only (children 12 and under are free). Or pay $18 for a Tour Ticket pin that gets you all this plus allows you to board the steamboats for tours 6-9 a.m. each morning.